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Ever noticed that it's simply impossible to find seriously funny oxymorons online? The only choice is to ask one of those paid volunteers at the library – the ones in the long-sleeved T-shirts – for an original copy of some obviously obscure documents that were found missing amongst some paperwork almost exactly one hundred years ago.

Notice anything strange about the paragraph above? It makes some sort of sense, yet it's riddled with contradictions (in blue). These are oxymorons. Here are some more:

Perhaps you agree some of these could be oxymorons too!

  • Military Intelligence
  • Microsoft Works
  • Civil Engineer
  • Click for more oxymorons!

Shakespeare and Oxymorons

William Shakespeare loved to play with words. In A Midsummer Night's Dream Theseus speaks these oxymoronic words (Act V, Scene I):

"A tedious brief scene of young Pyramus
And his love Thisby; very tragical mirth.'
Merry and tragical! tedious and brief!
That is hot ice and wondrous strange snow."

Be sure to check out our oxymoron lists, and all the funny oxymorons that we have been sent by our visitors. We have teamed up with Amazon Books to bring you books about wordplay – take a look at the oxymorons section.

If we have missed any good ones you can send us your favourite oxymorons by e-mail.

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